Originals

11/29/2012

Video Game Haikus

Playing games with words.

By: Ryan Winslett

Filed Under: Editorial Humor Life

When I’m not playing video games or writing about them, there’s a pretty good chance that I’m still pondering them somewhere in the back of my mind.

My Pop likes to tell me that my brain is slightly askew. “The boy is warped,” he has frequently announced to the rest of the family. That diagnosis might help explain why, sometimes, my thoughts on video games will randomly turn to haikus. I’ll be driving to work or standing in the shower and, bam, I’m suddenly trying to make a haiku out of the Uncharted series.

Some of those efforts are done in earnest. Others are done with tongue firmly planted in cheek. I love words as much as I love video games, so I guess this little exercise of mine is just my way of celebrating both of my passions at the same time. It can be tricky to find the right combination of words and syllables to meet the restrictions of a haiku while still getting your point across, and I dig that challenge.

This week, I’ve decided to share some of those haikus with you readers. To make this article into a game of its own, I have left off the name of each haiku. Those can be found at the bottom, giving you a chance to guess at what I’m writing about before knowing for sure. Some will be immediately obvious while others might still be a little too “warped” for their own good. Either way, I hope you have as much fun reading them as I do thinking them up.

After you’re done, feel free to add your own video game haikus in the comments. I’d love to see what you folks come up with.

Haiku 1:
My girlfriend is high
Held atop this scaffolding
Must kill the monkey

Haiku 2:
Snake’s mad sneaking skills?
Hiding in a cardboard box.
La Li Lu Le Lo

Haiku 3:
Two dudes killing dudes
Air guitar victory dance
Ladies lift ‘yer shirts

Haiku 4:
Dear April O’Neil,
Sorry I could not save you.
Dam(n) killer seaweed.

Haiku 5:
My daughter ran off
The streets are alive with fog
Is that a siren?

Haiku 6:
I have spiky hair
And can’t remember a thing.
Fear my massive sword!

Haiku 7:
Living mountains wake
I must extinguish their light
To bring back my love

Haiku 8:
Bend reality
And start thinking with science,
You fat, fat fatty

Haiku 9:
Good cowboy gone bad,
I’m mercilessly killing
Bigfoot’s family

Haiku 10:
Thousands die due to
Serious daddy issues
And a bald man’s guilt

***

Haiku 1: Donkey Kong
Haiku 2: Metal Gear
Haiku 3: Army of Two
Haiku 4: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (NES)
Haiku 5: Silent Hill
Haiku 6: Every JRPG, ever
Haiku 7: Shadow of the Colossus
Haiku 8: Portal
Haiku 9: Red Dead Redemption (Undead Nightmare)

Filed Under: Editorial Humor Life

About the Author:
Ryan Winslett is an Arizona-based journalist and freelance writer. He is a contributing writer for Gaming Blend and his work has also appeared on Joystiq, Gamasutra and Joystick Division. His only crime is loving too much.

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