Commentary

10/09/2012

Fire Pro Wrestling Review

By: Rich Shivener

Filed Under: Action Fighting Review Sports

At best, Fire Pro Wrestling has offered me a fistful of memories. In my formative years, I spent many late nights playing WWF RAW via Sega, addicted to its tag team mode, as well as such cheating acts as knocking out the ref and slamming a chair over someone’s head. Years later, I was burning up my Nintendo 64 with WCW/nWo Revenge, and by sophomore year in college, I was skipping PSY 100 because I was staying up way too late playing WWE SmackDown vs. Raw 2007. Those fighting games gave rise to my competitive edge and appealed to my imagination insofar as I was grappling and destroying the paragons of wrestling. The games were fun. They were memorable.

Fire Pro is a different kind of fun, one that doesn’t keep me up at night, let alone suck up an entire weekday evening. It’s a cheap, short-lived “party game” that drafts Xbox avatars to squared circles where referees don’t exist and most matches last 10 minutes or less.

Let it be known that my avatar, named “The Shiv,” was a champion and a budding legend in the smoldering Fire Pro Wrestling. There are several reasons why.

***

You see, The Shiv rejected all costumes. No mask. No tights. No bare chest. He never varied from a beard, blue jeans, and a white shirt, for he was a true projection of his maker.

In plain clothes, The Shiv body-slammed his way to the upper ranks of Fire Pro, even topping the masked “Evil Giant” and a peppy duo who bill themselves as Aching Anthony and Nancy. (The latter were quite forgettable, my avatar later explained). The campiness and ease of The Shiv’s opponents only fueled his anger, not to mention his skill level and achievements. With each win, he acquired new moves and costumes, and one point there was speculation that he was growing bored of winning all the time.

Despite having so much success, The Shiv had challenges and a few defeats. His opponents often countered his grappling moves, like the fisherman’s suplex and the face slammer, and rarely did the star connect a power drop kick to someone’s face. Perhaps his biggest loss of record was to Menancing Mama, who has a penchant to ass slapping her victims so hard that they fly out of the ring.

Still The Shiv won often, largely because many wrestlers fell to his thunderous “finisher,” a sort of triple back drop that drains an opponent’s health. Pinfalls came easy – maybe a little too easy.

But let’s be fair: The Shiv was an asshole, taking after his maker’s affinity for the venerable Ric Flair. If given the opportunity, he DQ-ed opponents by pummeling them outside the ring rolling back into the ring just before the 10 count. In fact, through such an act of trickery, he beat “Trainer Ted,” his mentor, in 16 seconds. Impressive? Woo!

While he was poised to be a legend in the annals of Fire Pro Wrestling, The Shiv’s career in the squared circle ended on Friday. His decision came soon after he pummeled three wrestlers in a “4-Way Match,” the winner being declared when one wrestler scored a pinfall. As a farewell, he touched the world by competing in a “Battle Royal” against online avatars “Young Nick06,” “Oren Alexanders,” and “Gordon Shumway.” It was a strong finish, as he lost when Nick used The Shiv’s own finishing move, the “Backdrop 3 Times.”

Overall, he’d had enough of winning so much, and he wasn’t up for world tours. Yes, his career was brief, but memories of his matches will be all but that.

***

4

Fire Pro Wrestling has a little bit of good among foundational flaws

This review is based off an Xbox 360 copy of the game provided by the publisher

Filed Under: Action Fighting Review Sports

About the Author:
Rich Shivener is the Lead Editor of Bit Creature. He is also a writer, instructor and iPad whisperer from the shores of Northern Kentucky. You can find him in Publishers Weekly and Writer's Digest, among other places.

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